What makes your heart happy? It’s a simple question that has many different answers. It’s a personal question that only you the individual truly knows. Heidi wants you to share that answer, to live that answer. To Heidi doing what makes you happy is not just a question you should ask yourself every day, it is a question to be lived every day. Because to quote her, “Life is short, live it with a happy heart."
Mother’s Day for me is about gratitude. It is a day of honoring the women who brought us into this world, raised us, and loved us. I will honor my own mother that day, but here, I’d like to honor another special mother in my life, my sister-in-law, Nicole. She is the mother to three of the most beautiful souls.
Lindsay has what I call major cool girl vibes…sorry I mean cool ass woman vibes. She is a professional surfer, kinesiology instructor, world traveler and an overall health enthusiast. She has such a warmth, and kindness. She chases laughter, connection, and fun. How could you not want to hang out with her always?
Mama-hood surrounds me. It seems new life is on the brains of all my lady friends. I will tell you, it has brought change all around, the best kind of change, and it has been beautiful to watch.
I have been blessed in this life with female friendships. Bonds so strong they have made me a better woman and given me a fuller life. I believe women lift women. I’ve never understood it in any other way and I don’t want to further the conversation in any other way than that. I find it such a gift to be a woman and even greater gift to have amazing women in my life, friendships that I could never do without. Let’s meet one of these women.
This lovely woman is the kind of person everyone loves to be around. Charismatic, deliriously funny, you can’t be around her without laughing or smiling. She finds humor in everything. It is her gift to all that know her. She is beloved in a way I don’t think she truly notices. The way people love her, are drawn to her, she is talked about with such admiration.
I envy her confidence, her sense of self and how it gives her the ability to be so bold. She is unafraid in a way that I am constantly learning from, trying to find within myself. She is the kind of friend you tell your fears and mistakes to, truly feeling safe and loved for doing so. It feels special to be loved by her because she loves with all her heart, a fierce love that she will do anything for.
She spent much of her younger years dancing, acting and becoming the talented performer she is. She is sharp, intelligent and has the greatest way with words. She is a writer. She has a hilarious blog that we all (her friends) wait around for her to post on (she is rare poster).
She and I talk often about what’s in our hearts, our fears, what we think will make us better women, how to be as authentic as possible. She is the best kind of friend. However, if she has planned a day devoted to Netflix*, you do not exist, she is off limits to you and please don’t interrupt. This is her only real rule which I of course, respect. Most of all, it is her beautiful heart that has I and others hooked. It is who she is (Netflix days and all).
I enjoy the belief of fate and destiny. I like to think we’re being lead, given signs and clues that lead us toward choices that will be good for us (even when difficult), that elevate us, make us better people. There is a kind of magic in life weaving us together to learn and grow from each other, to love each other, giving us people like this woman. Her friendship for me can only be explained as a result of that exact fate, that the universe knew before we did. We were always meant to be friends.
She is one of a kind. This is Tanya.
*Deep lover of movies and television she takes it all very seriously which means she’s seen everything. Which also means she will always have something great to recommend based on the things you like and are interested in. Especially if those interests include musicals, Barbara Streisand and weird documentaries no wants to watch.
MAC Face & Body Tint, Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion, MAC eyeshadow Carbon, MAC eye kohl Smolder, MAC lip erase, MAC blush Tenderling, Enjoy Creamy Pomade, Moroccan Oil Luminous Hairspray
photos by Mary Claire Roman
makeup, hair & styling Janelle Walker
Today is my birthday and I am 30 years old. Yep folks, it happened, it’s real, it’s here. I am a grown ass woman. To quote Beyoncé “I’m a grown woman. I can do whatever I want.” I am taking the Beyoncé attitude and fully embracing this next chapter in my life. Saying goodbye to the ride of the past decade and hello to a new one with a wiser, fuller heart. What I want for this next chapter is to keep growing. I want to be present in each moment of my life. My hope is that letting go continues to become easier. I want to be braver in this next decade than I was in the last. I want to rejoice in my imperfections instead of trying to fix them. I want to trust and love myself to the fullest capacity that I have to offer and may it feel never ending. When the storms of struggle arise, the way they likely will, I hope I continue to walk through them instead of away from them. I feel so calm walking into this age. I feel happy to be this age. It has not been the easiest journey to the person I’ve become but it was worth it. Like all good things it took time.
I remember being a young girl and wishing so badly to be older. Mainly, I wanted to be able to wear makeup, have a purse and dress however I wanted. I use to think that when I was older I would understand everything and it would be wonderful. I seemed to be wishing time would speed up so I could get to this magical place of wonderful. Having been adult for some time now, my simple request being fulfilled; I wear makeup, have a purse and dress however I want to ALL THE TIME. The thing is, it isn’t always wonderful. For a good chunk of my adulthood, I didn’t feel wonderful. My early twenties were rife with insecurity that I clung to and my later twenties with walls I had built to protect it. I was fearful of risk, change, of anything I thought that could deeply hurt me. I yearned to be a risk taker but felt safe in comfort. I let my fear steer my course until I could no longer take it.
“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” – Brené Brown
Two years ago, after having lived in Los Angeles for 4 years, I decided to leave and move back to my hometown in Orange County. This decision devastated me and liberated me. I’m not going to go into all the details that led to this but lets just say I was not experiencing wonderful. The mounting frustration of my life came to a head and I was coming undone. Before I left LA, talking to my mother one day, more like venting or spewing, she finally said to me “Janelle, you know life doesn’t need to be this hard.” Those simple words struck a cord and that was it. I decided I needed a change. I was exhausted. The decision to leave made me feel utterly lost and I crumbled. I didn’t know what the future held for me or what I wanted to do or be or even who I was anymore. I was terrified. I felt as though I was standing on the edge of a cliff looking down with nothing to ground me. The thing about edges, fear and feeling lost is that it usually is when you are ready to listen and do something about it. So I surrendered to my heart, let go and took a leap off my edge with the hope I would land safely. I left, walked into the unknown ready to find my way out.
What arose was a very uncomfortable time period that led to a very freeing, open, loving one. My path slowly unfolded. I started a yoga practice, meditating (it will change your life), met an energetic healer, read some fantastic books and tried whatever my heart was calling me to do. I just did it. It led me to some interesting experiences but ones that were integral to the woman I feel I am and the one I hope to keep growing into. The biggest lesson I’ve learned from becoming a grown woman is vulnerability. To own who I am and be that woman at all times, flaws and all. I’m finding acceptance in my imperfections. I learned to let go of what people think of me because the only opinion that truly matters is my own and the people that love me. I can’t control life or anyone else. The truth is I am not always the best at all of these things, nor are they easy. I am human and I make mistakes but I never want to stop trying to grow into the best version of myself. To live a life with my whole heart means without walls. It’s to be exposed in a world and time that so badly wants us to be scared. I am going to do it anyway.
“To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.”
– E.E. Cummings
You always have a choice to close your heart or to open it. In truth if you choose to open, the lesson with rise and your capacity to love will become greater. That is what I wish for the most. May my capacity to love become greater. May I never stop growing. May I choose love, to be brave, to be vulnerable and fearless. Will it be perfect? Absolutely not, but I have hope it will be wonderful.
I am full of gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
“My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart.”- Maya Angelou
The works of Brené Brown “The Gifts of Imperfection” and “Daring Greatly” have helped me immensely. Also, Michael Singer’s “The Untethered Soul” will change everything. I highly recommend all three.
Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer, RMS Beauty cream eyeshadow in Solar, YSL Baby Doll mascara in Black, MAC lip liner in Cherry, Sephora Rouge Shine in No. 32, MAC brow pencil in spiked
Photography by Mary Claire Roman
Kim and I met when we were freshman in high school at the ripe old age of 14. She was from two cities over and decided to forgo her local high school to attend our school. We were introduced through a mutual friend and hit it off. She almost left at the end of that first year to attend the high school she was originally suppose to. When she told me this, I remember feeling worried, sad, hoping she would stay. Luckily, she did. Looking back, it is funny to think how small decisions shape your life because not only did she take the chance on staying but shortly after we became best friends. Since then, we've spent the past 15 years in each others lives. A lot of life has happened to us since but we've remained. I recently was telling her how I feel like the universe has conspired to keep us together. Every time one of us has moved away, the other seems to somehow follow right after. We've always landed close to each other making it easier but the truth is like all relationships in life, you get what you put in. Our friendship has always been important, so we've made it important. We could have easily lost touch multiple times, not made the effort, let it fade but we didn't. We became people we could rely on and trust. We took our good, our bad and supported each other through it, laughing too much and crying a little(or a lot). That's what real friendship is about. Surrounding yourself with people that see all parts of you and love you because of all of it. I am so grateful for the years, her constant presence in my life, her endless support and the chance she took on staying all those years ago.
Kim has the most generous heart. It never ends really. She is not a gossip or hater she is an encourager. She does her thing and doesn't care what people think of her. She is kind, easy to be with and so much damn fun. She's clearly beautiful beyond belief but also extremely talented, smart as can be and works harder than anyone. To know her is to love her and I do, along with whole lot of other people.
Kim is a Designer for women's apparel at O'Neill. www.oneill.com
MAC Cream eyeshadow Artifact, Urban Decay Naked #2, MAC Face & Body foundation, Sephora bronzer in Los Cabos, MAC lipstick Freckletone
Makeup, Hair, Styling and Photos by Janelle Walker
My mother is and always will be my beauty inspiration. Not because of her obvious beauty or that she taught me how to braid my hair or showed me the power of black eyeliner. It is her generous and loving heart. My mother is like a bright radiating light in our family. She is a pillar of strength, the calm in a storm, a selfless giver and supporter of all our dreams. She is everything that is beautiful. She has never fussed much over her looks or ever concerned herself with aging. She quote “looks forward to it”, embracing where she’s been in every phase of her life and being thankful. It’s this attitude that has shaped my philosophy on beauty and what real beauty means to me. She’s taught my sister and I to look beyond our looks, to accept, lean into change and love who we are. She has always encouraged us to be us.
She, as a mother now to adult children, rides the wave of life with us. She listens, encourages all of our ideas on how to live and be better people in this crazy world. She is our mother and I think I can speak for my brother and sister when I say we feel very lucky that she is.
I was watching Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday this past week with Tracy McMillan (she is amazing) as the guest and she said something that really stuck with me. She said “When we are whole, selfless, loving people we light up the world. It becomes our job to light up our little section of the world”. Let me tell you something, my mom has spent her life lighting up her little section of the world. I am forever grateful. Happy Mother’s Day Mom! You beautiful, beautiful woman.
Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation, Urban Decay Eye Shadow Primer in Sin, Urban Decay Naked2, Mac Eye Kohl in Smolder, Yves Saint Laurent Babydoll mascara, MAC lipliner in Boldly Bare, MAC lipstick in Taupe
photos, styling, makeup & hair by Janelle Walker
My friend Jackie is a tough woman. She has one of the most beautiful, strong spirits I've ever had the privilege of calling a friend. She is incredibly honest and authentic to who she is. Honest, in that she wants you to see things as they are, so you don't get hurt and that you are living true to yourself. This is not always easy to hear, not always easy to say either but she loves you too much not to. Her fight for honesty is to be admired, it is important and truly in my opinion, is her gift. Being honest with people even with loving intentions can be hard. You have to be brave, tough. That to me is real beauty.
Jackie is 9 months pregnant in the above shots and gave birth to her beautiful little girl about a week later(!). Watching her be a new Mom has been such a joy that I can't describe. I can only hope that her little girl will get the same brazen strength her Mom so naturally possesses.
MAC lip liner Currant, MAC mattene lipstick Night Violet
makeup, hair, styling and photos by Janelle Walker
I would like to introduce the lovely Hayley Schwied. She is an artist on all levels. She took her passion for painting, art, and turned it into a career as a Tattoo Artist. This woman oozes creativity. She loves playing with her look, is always up to try new things and just goes for it, which is my favorite kind of woman. She has this tough girl exterior but has such a gentle way about her and truly is one of the most beautiful souls. I mean look into those eyes! She is so wonderful and loving to be around. I adore her to say the least.
Hayley is a Tattoo Artist at Living Art Gallery in San Clemente, CA.
Skin Deep: Describe yourself in 3 words?
Hayley: Independent, Stubborn, Creative
SD: What beauty product or routine can you not live without?
HS: So many things!!!!! I can't live without showering! I love my showers. But the beauty product I cant live without would have to be mascara, basically any kind of eye makeup.
SD: What do you find beautiful about tattoos?
HS: I love the fact that with tattoos you can decorate your body however you want. Painting was my first love and I find my body as a canvas, so tattoos are my paint.
SD: What is the best beauty advice you’ve ever received?
HS: MORE IS ALWAYS MORE AND I LOVE EXCESS!!! Over the top is better then boring.
SD: What made you want to be a tattoo artist?
HS: Every since i was young I have always been attracted to tattoos. I have always saw it as an art form. After graduating art school I wanted to make money with my art, and what better way then with tattooing it on people that pay for it!
SD: What inspires you the most?
HS: Any type of art is my inspiration, whether it is painting, drawing, dancing, music, films, nature, etc. But the human body is a HUGE inspiration to me as well, especially faces. I have been drawing it for over 10 years and find it absolutely beautiful and amazing. I was told if you can master drawing the human body, you can draw anything.
SD: What does beauty mean to you?
HS: Beauty to me means never having to apologize for being yourself and expressing yourself however you want. Totally cliche, but just be yourself.
Mac Strobe Cream, Urban Decay Eye Shadow Primer Potion in Sin, Smashbox O Gloss, Mac Lipstick Violetta
Photos by Mary Claire Photography
Makeup & Styling by Janelle Walker